i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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