First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
