You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
