so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
