hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
