Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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