no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
