I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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