I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
