if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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