there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
