If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
