That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
