Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize