I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize