this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i've created a new STD.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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