My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
