I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
