you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
