For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
