There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
