i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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