I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
3 2 1 whiskey
My vagina is officially offended.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
