He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
