Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
