She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
