Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
