Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
