I look better un-naked...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
