So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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