I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
