i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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