And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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