smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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