I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
