im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
