she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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