Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
