i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize