may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
