I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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