Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
