You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
