I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
