I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize