So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
