Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
