If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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