So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
