She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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