I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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