If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
