I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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