i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
