The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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