But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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