Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
