and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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