TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
