The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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