everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
