u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
