you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
