I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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