if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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