he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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