apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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