Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
