I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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