Kiss
Puke
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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