nut hugger
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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